Independently Happy

I take happiness seriously. So you don't have to.

Surviving Change: Holding on to What’s Precious

Everything changes.  Even back in 500BC, Heraclitus knew that “the only constant [was] change.”  The only thing that doesn’t change is that everything changes.  Heraclitus also said that we can’t even swim in the same river twice. Yet, we still occasionally take for granted things that seem to remain constant for a long time.  Then it’s really inconvenient, if not painful when it does change.  Although there are no guarantees that we can preserve everything that’s dear to us, we should learn to appreciate and hold on to what’s precious.


“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

– Heraclitus

Go ahead and give it a Tweet.

Bob Dylan knew about change.

Ch Ch Ch Changes

Jobs Change

The company my wife used to work for changed some policies that resulted in $600 decrease in her monthly pay.  That was HUGE to us at the time.  My wife’s former employer—who was mucho awesome, btw, and we are still very good friends with them—let my wife take our little girl to work, so we could save money on day care.

Kids Grow

One day, our little girl turned two.  We had to put her in daycare, which was a really big, new expense for us.

Leaders Change

The Principal we all loved at my kids’ school, that everyone loved, retired.  I guess we just sorta thought she would always be the Principal, but she wasn’t.

Jobs Change

I had plans for after our kids moved out.  My wife and I planned to move to the Mediterranean where I would continue working my current job remotely.  Then a new group of execs decided they want employees in the office.

I loved seeing my friends in the office daily.  Most are good with my attempts at making everything fun, and most help in that.  I just wanted beach more.

Then my friends got laid off.

I had other friends, and I’ve made new ones.  There’s just no getting comfortable.

My Friend’s Danielle’s About Me page Changed

Decide What’s Precious

Not all change is noticeable, and some things can be preserved.  We have to decide what is most precious to us. Pick those few things, just four of five things that we really love and appreciate.  Then really work at preserving those things.

My wife and I discussed this. The few things we selected are:

  1. Our relationship
  2. our relationship with our kids
  3. Our nutrition.

Our Relationship

My wife and I made our relationship the number one thing to preserve.  We’ve seen lots of relationships change, many for the not better.  Our relationship has changed in our eleven years, mostly for the better.  The point is that in the universe of constant changing, we spend a great deal of effort monitoring and nurturing our relationship.

Thank you to my friend Danielle for catching my missed edits!

Our Relationship With our Kids

We’ve seen lots of these go sour, but we monitor our relationships with our kids very closely and work hard to preserve them.

Our Nutrition

Food has changed significantly over the past couple decades.  That is not your father’s Wonder bread. Actually, Wonder bread may be your father’s Wonder bread. We try to avoid processed grains, so I can’t tell you for sure about Wonder bread. I do know that they sponsored my favorite race car driver. Shake and bake!

What is precious to you?
Can we really hold on to anything in a constantly changing world?

5 Replies

  1. Here comes The Law of Impermanence to bite us in the rear. I too have a difficult time adjusting to change. The pain only worsens with the fight and denial. But change is necessary for growth. Indeed no growth is possible without letting go in order to grab hold. At the end of the day we have to learn the embrace change or suffer the trapping of past thoughts.

    1. Shayne

      Thanks, Michael. I can’t believe I wrote all that without mentioning impermanence!

    2. Shayne

      btw, Since you mentioned growth, you might enjoy my friend Danielle’s blog post.

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