Independently Happy

I take happiness seriously. So you don't have to.

Regret is a Void (or Life is a Vessel)

Most mistakes aren’t permanent.  We can learn from them and eventually even be glad we made them.  Most decisions aren’t good or bad.  We can make a great decision and mess it up.  We can make a horrible decision and bounce back better for it.  We can undo or overcome most bad decisions, but not regret. Regret isn’t a thing.  Regret is a void.


Great image by Stevebidmead on

Regret Isn’t a Thing

We call that emptiness inside–that void left unfilled by what we didn’t do—regret.  A void feels worse than bad. We can improve, learn from, and even fix bad.

The only way to fix a void is to fill it. If we wait until it’s too late to fill that void, then that void will always remain a void.

Biggest Fear

All those things we fear, most will never happen.

In his book The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life (one of my absolute favorite books!), Chris Guillebeau crafts one of the most brilliant thoughts on regret I’ve ever heard.

“Regret is what you should fear most. If something is going to keep you awake at night, let it be the fear of not following your dream.  Be afraid of settling.”

Regret will happen.  We can find ways to deal with it, but it will be so much better to relish in what we did than regret what we didn’t do.

No Undo

Regret is just awful.  Think back.  Something we said—or did–to someone, something that we regret.  It just stings, right?  We could feel a little better apologizing for it, or in some other way making it up to that person.

Now think of something good or fun that we regret not doing. That’s even ouchier.  If we can go back and do it, that’s great.  If it’s too far away, or too expensive, or if we’ll never see that person again…

We just have to live with that void.

Life is a Vessel

So maybe that’s it.  Think of life as a tank.  Vessel sounds more poetic.

It’s our vessel.  It is our responsibility to fill it and share it.  The vessel doesn’t hold stuff.  The stuff just evaporates.  ­

Or maybe the stuff disapperates to a shelf where it collects dust, looks dirty, and makes you sneeze.

The vessel only holds memories.

What are you going to fill your vessel with?

Although Disqus is great, and I recommend registering for it to enjoy its full functionality, you can bypass registration if you click “Start the discussion…,” then Name, and the “I’d rather post as a guest” checkbox appears.

As if by magic.

Try it. I dare you.

Disclosure:  The link to The Happiness of Pursuit above is an affiliate link, so I’ll get a commission if you make purchases on Amazon via that link.











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