What does Thanksgiving make you think of? Gratitude? Nope. Jokes! These funny Thanksgiving jokes for kids will make you the life of the party.
Thanksgiving Can Be Stressful
Just like most things in life–just like life itself–Thanksgiving can be stressful. It doesn’t have to be stressful, but it can be and usually is. Like life, stress provides an opportunity to overcome an obstacle and enhance the happiness derived from the stress’ source.
The typical Thanksgiving dinner involves a lot of food to plan, prep, and cook. OH, and shopping. How fun is the shopping that weekend before Thanksgiving? I recommend shopping for as much as you can before that Friday before Thanksgiving.
Then there are the relatives. I bet you love, adore, and relish the time you spend with each one of your in-laws, don’t you? I sincerely do love spending time with each and every one of my relatives. The problem is agreeing on where to have the dinner each year.
What we all need is something to take our focus away from the stressful aspects of this glorious American holiday. Please understand, I don’t want you to avoid those awkward and unpleasant conversations. I recommend that you TCB, as The King often said.
(That’s The King as in Elvis Presley and TCB as in Takin’ Care of Business, baby.)
2 Ways to Use These Hilarious Thanksgiving Jokes For Kids
First, A Vacation From Your Vacation
Laughter is a great way to ease stress. I devoted a section in my book to the health benefits of laughter.
A better way to reduce the effects of the stress is to TCB, to take care of the issue causing the stress. Still, a little laughter will give you a break and show everyone how cool, calm, and collected you are.
That’s right. Even though these jokes are for kids, I think you will enjoy abundant laughter from this post!
Second, Be the Cool Aunt/Uncle/Cousin
We all want to be the cool aunt, uncle, or parent. I don’t recommend trying to be a cool parent. It’s kind of an oxymoron. You either have to be cool or be good, but I digest. Digress. See what I did there? A little Thanksgiving dinner humor.
Keep these jokes in your pocket (literally or figuratively) and give the kids at the family gathering many laughs. You can pass out printouts of the jokes to the kids, or you can deliver well-timed humorous brilliance at your leisure.
Are These The Best Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids?
I’m not going to say that these are the best thanksgiving jokes. Many of them are super-corny. I’m talking Dad Joke-level stuff here. Also, there may be a chance that this isn’t just the funniest, corniest, or best Thanksgiving jokes for kids. This may be all of them.
If I missed any Thanksgiving jokes for kids, please share them with me on The Sosh! (The Sosh is my fancy phrase for social media.)
What Bountiful Humor Turkeys Provide Us!
The beloved turkey is an abundant source of humor.
Turkey is a Funny Word
For one thing, turkey is a funny word. Rhyming any word with turkey is a great way to get a laugh out of kids. When you see a kid see the turkey for the first time, say:
That’s a perky turkey.
Email me and tell me if the little kids don’t laugh at that. Then ask,
Do you think that turkey had to go to worky?
You’ll be the coolest cousin at the dinner.
That’s quite the quirky turkey.
Your quips don’t even have to make sense like those suggestions. Placing any combination of letters before _urkey will have the kids rolling.
Turkeys Are Funny Birds
For another thing, turkeys are funny birds. It’s even funny to say that. Try it this Thanksgiving. Say this at your Thanksgiving gathering:
“Turkeys are funny birds.”
– Shayne Seymour
Even if you don’t get laughs, you’ll at least get enthusiastic agreement.
These Turkey Jokes Are Just Fowl
If you only use these turkey rhyme Thanksgiving jokes for kids, they (the kids, not the turkeys) will think you’re the funniest! Maybe they’ll remember you when Christmas shopping.
Kids Will Love These Quirky Turkey Rhymes
What do you call cheerful turkey?
A perky turkey.
Why can’t the turkey go camping?
The turkey has to worky.
Why is that turkey so weird?
It’s quirky turkey.
Is that a turkey spying on us from the bushes?
It’s lurky turkey!
What bird leads the Starship Enterprise?
Captain Kirkey Turkey.
Who rings you up at the Thanksgiving store?
The Turkey Clerky.
What do you call a dark and gloomy turkey?
A Murky Turkey.
What do you call a turkey that’s a big Miley Cirus fan?
A Twerky Turkey.
What do you call a turkey that avoids responsibility?
A Shirky Turkey.
What do you call an out-of-control turkey?
A Berserky Turkey.
Why was the turkey so mean to its friends?
It was a jerky turkey.
What turkey did the Scottish Highlanders use as a weapon?
A Dirky Turkey.
Why did the turkey keep going around and around?
It was a Circley Turkey.
Why does that turkey look so smug?
It’s a Smirky Turkey.
What is the Turkey Circus from Montreal?
Turk du Soleil.
Not All Turkey Jokes Have to Rhyme
I’ll start with 2 jokes that you should keep handy if someone asks you to stop.
Will you please stop telling these horrible jokes?
I can’t just quit cold turkey!*
Will you please stop telling these turkey jokes?
Why? Do you find my turkey jokes to be fowl?
What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The tur-key.
Why did my strange uncle give us random gifts for Thanksgiving dinner?
He thought it was Things-giving dinner.
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
What do they serve for Thanksgiving dinners in Louisville, Lexington, and Frankfort?
Ken-turkey.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. Buildings can’t jump!
What do turkeys need to unlock the bathroom door?
Turd-key.
(That’s disgusting!)
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What sound did the turkey’s phone make when it rang?
Wing, Wing! Wing!
What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler!
If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
A poul-tree.
What sound does the limping turkey make?
Wobble, wobble!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!
What is a turkey’s favorite thing to do on sunny days?
Have a peck-nic!
Why do turkeys go “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners!
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
Quack, Quack!
I Hope These Turkey Jokes Don’t Have You Feeling Fowl
What’s the best song to play while baking the Thanksgiving turkey?
All About That Baste!
What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To get to the other side. (It was Thanksgiving Day. He hoped people would think he was a chicken.)
When is the best time to eat turkey?
When someone else cooked it, and it’s on the dinner table!
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
How do you make a turkey float?
1 glass of root beer, 2 scoops of ice cream, and 1 turkey.
How are a turkey, a donkey, and a monkey alike?
They all have keys.
What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
The drumstick.
What type of glass does a turkey drink from?
A gobble-et!
What is the turkey’s favorite kind of weather?
Fowl weather.
What sound does a space turkey make?
“Hubble, Hubble.”
Why can’t you take the turkey to church?
Because it uses such fowl language.
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’ll tell you later.
“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”
– Johnny Carson
The Pilgrim Jokes are Pure Silliness
Why were the Pilgrims exhausted when they arrived?
The whole walk here was uphill-grim.
Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
Because his belt buckle was on his hat.
Why didn’t the Pilgrim have any coffee?
Because of the spill-grim.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
Why was it hard to see the Pilgrim?
He was an obscure-itan.
What kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
Plymouth.
What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
Pil-grimace.
If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
Their age!
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like best?
Plymouth Rock.
What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the Pilgrims land at Plymouth rock?
They look nice. Maybe they’ll have us for dinner.
What kind of face do pilgrims make when they’re in pain?
Pil-grimace.
How do you make s’mores on Thanksgiving?
Chocolate bars and Pil-graham crackers!
What did the Pilgrims use to make cakes?
May flour.
Why did the Pilgram go sunbathing?
To get a puri-tan.
You Can Really Ham It Up With Hammy Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
Why did the Thanksgiving ham taste bad?
It was an Ex-spiral-ed ham.
Why was the Thanksgiving ham so excited?
It was an In-spiral-ed Ham.
How do you clean the Thanksgiving ham for dinner?
Hogwash!
Why was it hard to find the ham?
It was an obs-cured ham.
What do you call it when you receive a bunch of unwanted cans of ham?
SPAM.
That’s a very impressive ham!
It would be a shame if someone put an s at the front and an e at the end.
Did the ham test positive for Covid?
It did, but now it’s a cured ham.
What do pigs learn in basic training?
Ham-to-ham combat.
What is a pig’s favorite Beatles song?
I wanna hold your ham.
Who was the swashbuckling here of Swine Wars?
Ham Solo.
What was the pigs’ favorite city during their trip to Europe?
Hamsterdam.
Where did Bat Pig fight crime?
GotHam City.
How did the pig get to the hospital?
Rode in a Hambulance.
Where did the prehistoric pig live?
Jurassic Pork.
More Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
Why did my cousin want an Army vehicle at our family gathering?
He thought it was Tanksgiving dinner.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G!
What do you call it when you only have hot dogs for Thanksgiving dinner?
Franksgiving.
What’s something very offensive to do at dinner, except on Thanksgiving?
A family member giving you the bird.
Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
Why should you not eat fish on Thanksgiving day?
Because Thanksgiving never falls on Fry-day.
Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
No, you should just have the turkey!
What’s a good Thanksgiving dinner side dish if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes?
Squash.
If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, then what do college students travel on?
The Scholar Ships.
What’s one thing we all have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving?
We’re all full of stuffing.
(Do you like stuffing?)
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash
What did Baby Corn say to Nana Corn?
Where’s Pop Corn?
Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it. (Get it? Stalk instead of stork. I know, if you have to explain the joke…)
What do vampires call turkey dinners?
Fangsgiving.
What did Frankenstein serve with the turkey on Thanksgiving?
Monster Mashed potatoes.
Let’s Finish With a Few Jokes for Dessert
Do you get the feeling that pie is staring at you?
Maybe it’s a pumpkin spy.
What’s the best thing to put into a pecan pie?
Your teeth.
Why did dessert look good to some but not others?
Because beauty is in the pie of the beholder.
How Do you fix a broken pumpkin pie?
With a pumpkin patch!
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda go eat some pumpkin pie?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the Thanksgiving dinner too!
Who’s there?
Esther.
Esther who?
Esther any more pecan pie?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Aidan.
Aidan who?
Aida lotta stuffing, didn’t ya?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Possum.
Possum who?
Possum whipped cream on my pumping pie!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any more giblet gravy?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie going to spend Thanksgiving weekend?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Avery.
Avery who?
Avery body, come eat some turkey!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water we having for dessert?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
What?
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water-key did you make for Thanksgiving dinner?
These Are Terrible, But Maybe Someone Will Enjoy Them!
Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving Day dinner.
Why? Is it broken?
What is small, round, and blue on the dinner table?
A cranberry holding its breath.
Why would a mother choose to make a turkey on Thanksgiving night?
She wanted to make fast food.
What do monsters have on their Thanksgiving table?
Knives, Forks, and Goons.
What happens to cranberry sauce when it listens to sad music?
It becomes blues-berry sauce.
A Little Morbid
I saved these for the end in case you don’t think they’re appropriate Thanksgiving jokes for kids. They are a little on the morbid side, but who doesn’t love some good morbid Thanksgiving humor?
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
Looking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, a woman thought they were all too small to feed her large group of Thanksgiving dinner guests.
She asked one of the store employees, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The employee replied, “No, ma’am, they’re dead.”
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Question: Which is your favorite Thanksgiving Joke?
